Operation Abs: Week 1

Until I can get myself situated and into a good rhythm, I figured I would regale you all with my progress and hard work as I get back into shape. I've found I succeed the best when I document everything anyways, and it makes me feel good to look back and see it!

This week I am very proud of myself because made it to the gym three times! The hubby okayed me to sign up for monthly Kids Care at 24 hour fitness so I can take Olivia as many times as I want and pay a flat fee. Believe it or not, this really motivated me because I didn't have to worry about spending $5 each time I went to the gym. Olivia seems to really like going, as do the ladies who work there, and I'm in an out in under an hour.

Another thing I've accomplished is scheduling a specific time to workout at the gym, not just saying I'll go sometime during the day. So, after I've worked a few hours and Olivia takes her morning nap and wakes up between 11-11:30 we head to the gym. Kids Care closes for the afternoon at 1pm, so it works out perfect. After that, it doesn't open until 4pm, and I'm betting it's much more crowded during that time. I like that there are only 2-3 other kids when I take her late morning, because I know she'll get a lot of attention.

After we leave the gym, we usually hit up Target or Trader Joe's and then head back home for lunch. I like that I get my workout in early and can just hang out with Olivia and work the rest of the day.
So, this was my week:

Week 1:

Sunday: rest

Monday: gym- 30 minutes of cardio on Cybex Arc trainer machine and 20 minutes of strength training

Tuesday: gym- 30 minutes of cardio on Cybex Arc trainer machine and 20 minutes of strength training

Wednesday: 40 minutes of walking with the stroller

Thursday: rest

Friday: Lindsay Brin's Bootcamp 2- 20 minutes (cardio workout + warmup and cool down) and additional 5 minute core workout, and gym- 30 minutes of cardio on Cybex Arc trainer machine and 15 minutes of strength training

Saturday: rest (which is good because I a SORE!)

You'd think I get tired of doing the same machine at the gym, but I love it! One of the perks of moving and going to this new 24 Hour Fitness is that it has much newer machines than my old one.  I saw some women on an odd looking machine and saw that it was the Cybex Arc Trainer. The past few years I've been a fan of the elliptical, and then the Precor Cross Ramp machines because they are low impact and have cool workouts that adjust incline and resistance. This Arc Trainer is better than anything I've tried!

It forces you to have better balance, is even lower impact, and I am a huge, sweaty mess when I'm done. Also, because it's so weird looking no one ever uses it and there's always one available.

Aside from my workouts, I've started to take more notice of my eating habits which I think has put me in a better position to get into shape. I definitely have issues drinking enough water, and not because I drink other things throughout the day, but because I'm pretty much never thirsty. So, I'm trying to  keep a water bottle out all the time (I never drink enough if I just have a glass out) to make sure it's on my mind. I've also noticed that sometimes I eat just because I enjoy whatever it is I'm eating, not because I'm hungry. I'm trying to pay attention to my hunger and not eat late at night, a vice of mine once I can finally sit down and watch some TV by myself.  Finally, I try and save eating bread until dinner time because then I will make conscious decisions to eat other things besides toast, sandwiches, pizza, etc. for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes I will make it all the way to dinner and never even have bread (though that doesn't happen very often!). I've also started making 1 smoothie a day to replace a "meal" and I really like the combination of frozen berries, 1 scoop of protein powder, half a banana, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, yogurt, and milk. The only bummer about the smoothie is that Olivia is terrified when I  blend it in my Magic Bullet! Hopefully she'll get used to it :)

Here are my numbers after 1 week:

Weight: 128.5 (DOWN a pound!)

Hips: 35"

Waist: 31"

Below Waist: 34"

Arm: 11.25" (DOWN a quarter inch)

Thigh: 21"

Bust: 35" (DOWN an inch- quite possibly an error the first measurement.)

I'm starting to realize I may have some initial errors in my measuring but hopefully not by much. Even though the numbers may not say it, I put it in a ton of work this week and I'm excited for the day they DO show it.

post baby bod

I'm going to lay it on the table up front: I have never had a problem with weight. I have no idea where these genes came from since both my parents have had their fair share of weight struggles, and my siblings have very different body shapes than I do.  Sure, I don't practice poor eating habits nor am I lazy when it comes to exercise. I DO work hard. But I don't have to be overly strict with myself and that's a good thing because I would DIE without CARBS. I LOVE bread and cheese and I don't think I would be a very nice person if I couldn't eat them.

I wore my high school size well into the first few years of marriage and when I went on birth control I leveled out my weight to a more "adult" weight. No matter what I could do, I could not lose weight. So, I figured that's just the size I was supposed to be and that was that.

Anyways, having had a relatively easy go of the whole weight thing my entire life, I was nervous about what my body would be like after I had a baby. In fact, that was pretty much the only concern I had health-wise about pregnancy. I absolutely watched what I ate while I was pregnant because I wanted both LW and I to be healthy- not because I didn't want to gain weight. When I was hungry, I ate, and when I was full, I stopped. Luckily for me, a lot of junk food didn't sound good and I was happy with string cheese and yogurt for snacks most of the time. By the time I delivered, I gained 27 pounds (I'm pretty sure anyways- the whole end was a blur). I didn't worry because I felt good and my doctor was very impressed with my steady weight gain (as opposed to putting on a ton all at once or the entire 9 months). Which coincidentally helped me avoid stretch marks on my belly, thank the Lord.

I actually got a lot of flack from passersby about my size while pregnant. "You're so small" and "Are you sure you're that far along" were common comments. I personally never felt small or huge, and my petite frame was very conducive to the 27 pounds I did gain. Here's my last picture of me pregnant at 40 weeks + 5 days:

After Olivia was born and I was still in the hospital, I made the deliberate choice to NOT look at my belly, sans clothing. It already felt weird being empty and obviously jiggly. I didn't want to freak myself out when I knew that my uterus was shrinking before my very eyes and much of my chub would dissipate on its own. I was more gracious on myself then I thought I would be!

I haven't done a ton of documenting about myself these past 7 months because I would much rather take pictures of my gorgeous baby, so I have only a few pics of myself.

This is me, 5 days postpartum:

Here I am at 1 month postpartum:

that's pretty much where the picture taking of my belly has stopped. I will say that much of my figure has returned to it's pre-baby shape on it's own, with some, but not a LOT of effort on my part. Just in the past few weeks I have been able to zip and button all pre-baby jeans, even if I have a sizable muffin top. That means my hips have shrunk back and my thighs slimmed down, but my belly is still giving me some trouble.

Weight wise, I am still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and I want to get back to that weight, no matter what I tell myself. If I'm honest with myself, I probably want to lose about 15 because I wasn't completely happy with my weight before getting pregnant. Despite having at least 10 pounds to go, I know it's not all in my belly. Since I stopped breastfeeding, I assumed my boobs would go back to my pre-pregnancy 34C size. NOT SO. I can't believe I'm saying this but I HATE having bigger boobs. I went up THREE (3) cup sizes to a DDD, and thanks to a proper bra fitting from Nordstrom went down to a 32 in band size. Did you hear me, a TRIPLE D; also known as an E. It's definitely not as glamorous as I thought it would be. I have to buy expensive bras because they don't make cheap ones in large sizes, and many of my shirts are difficult to wear, not because of cleavage, but because they barely stretch over my chest. The odd thing was, they were not this big while I was pregnant or even while I was attempting breast feeding- they got bigger after. I know if I lose the weight I want, a least part of this will come from up top. I wouldn't mind to keep a little somethin somethin', but beggars can't be choosers.

And so, because I have a hard time following through with anything these days and because I'm completely OVER looking the way I do, I'm doing something I'd never thought I'd do: posting pictures of myself on my blog and holding myself accountable.

My mom told me to give myself a year to get back to "myself" and that seems like a graceful timeline to me. I'll take it. Since I haven't done a lot with the first 7 1/2 months, I need to get going. In my efforts to get back into shape, I did some research online and found a fitness expert whose area of expertise is pregnancy and postnatal fitness. After doing a free 8 minute video which got me embarrassingly sweaty, I ordered Lindsay Brin's BootCamp 2:

She's gotten a ton of great reviews and has her own blog/website that documents her gaining and losing weight from her 3 kids. While my goal isn't to get as ripped as her, I know she'll help me get on track.

So, here goes! I don't necessarily plan on updating weekly on my bod, since that's boring to everyone else and I'm scared that if I don't see results each week I'll get discouraged. Here I am a 7.5 months post partum:

Weight: 129.5 

Hips: 35"

Waist: 31"

Below Waist: 34"

Arm: 11.5"

Thigh: 21"

Bust: 36"

I'd have to say at this point, my fitness goals are to tone my abs, arms, and thighs, to lose at least 5 pounds by the end of the year, and to feel better about my appearance. Reasonable right? We'll see!

7 Month Favorites

To say I have lagged on updating lately has been an understatement. Olivia is now 7.5 months and without further ado, here are my favorites from this last month:

 

Hylands Teething Tablets: my mom used these when I was a baby and so I didn't hesitate when Olivia started cutting a tooth to RUN to the store to get these. They are homeopathic, are only $7 for about 130 tablets, and dissolve quickly in her mouth. The best part is they help her sleep better, which helps me sleep better!

Imaginarium Alphabet & Numbers Foam Puzzle Mat: now that we've moved and have laminate floors, I am SO glad we bought these! We have little 9 piece portions of it all over the bottom floor of our new place and LW can play til her hearts content. These are also great for outside on the grass instead of a blanket, and I've just confirmed today that they also serve as an excellent exercise mat!

iPlay Infant Sun Hat: we bought this hat while we were in Solvang and LW was only 11 weeks old. This summer, it got a LOT of use, especially while we were in Palm Springs! It has a great wide brim, and can get wet without damaging it. It washes in the washing machine and I think it's quite darling. Once Olivia gets over the strings, she doesn't seem to care that she's wearing it.

Neutrogena Baby Sunblock Stick: this was a HUGE lifesaver on our vacation. As I now know for sure, Olivia has very sensitive skin and burns quite easily. This stick is nice because I can just put the sunscreen directly on her and it's not drippy or gooey. You still have to rub it in but it makes the whole process a lot smoother.

Nose Frida: I was TERRIFIED of this thing before I bought it. I thought you sucked out boogers and they went into your mouth and that's what hippy mom's did. But after a bout of congestion that your garden variety nose sucker just couldn't tackle, I bought this baby. It's amazing! It's so much more efficient and a weird part of me enjoys seeing what boogers I can get out of LW's nose. The only thing you need to buy are the refill filters and they are about $4 for 20 of them.

Sassy Time Bathtime Buddies Squirters: I got these from my baby registry and now that Olivia can sit up in the bath she loves chewing on these, and I love squirting water at her with them! They aren't anything fancy but LW loves them and they give her something to do while I wash her hair.

And that's it for this month! I have to be honest, I finally busted this out because I have some ideas for new posts but knew I needed to get this done first. Check in tomorrow for a new post on post-baby bodies!

Olivia Dell: 7 Months

Height/Weight: Since going back to cereal and eating 3 "solids" a day, Olivia gained over 1 1/2 pounds in a month and now weighs 17 pounds! Good Ollie! In addition, I think she's going through a growth spurt which has been giving her a good appetite. With my rudimentary measuring, I'd also venture to say she's at 28 1/4 inches tall!

Feeding: LW was eating a little 2 ounce bottle at the end of the day, but we cut it out and dispersed that formula to her 4 big ones. So, now she's eating 4, 8 oz. bottles a day in addition to cereal in the morning, a fruit for lunch, and a veggie for dinner. She also started drinking water from a sippy cup, but only intermittently. I'm hoping to always keep her water in a cup and not in a bottle so the transition to sippy cup makes sense. We shall see.

Clothing:  Since it's been cooler at night, Olivia has proven that 6 month footy PJ's don't fit so well anymore! She's still wearing 6 month onesies but PJ's are getting too snug. Just yesterday, we bought 3 new fleece pajamas in 9 months! I also tried to put on several pairs of pants and leggings in 3-6 months and they are all too short! They fit in the waist, but are way too small for her long legs. Next pay period, I'm going to have to go winter and pants shopping for my Ollie.

Sleep: my child has decided her own schedule for bedtime and now insists on going to bed between 7 and 7:15. She fusses a few times and just lately has a hard time waiting past 3am to eat her morning bottle. This is why I think she's going through a growth spurt, because she shouldn't be that hungry (and I know she is because I can hear her stomach growl!). Once she eats it, she goes back to sleep and doesn't eat another one until 8:30am, no matter what time she wakes up. Huh. The last few nights she's also given us some grief by waking up and sobbing her heart out, but I think I have an impending tooth to blame for that one!

Milestones: Olivia's biggest milestone this month has been her first baby tooth trying to make it's way through! As of now, you can feel it but can't see too much. She's actually been a VERY good baby by teething standards and basically just gets overly fussy if it's bothering her. She has mastered sitting by herself, and can now go from sitting, leaning forward, to laying on her belly. She can scoot backwards on the floor, and can pull herself up to her knees and sometimes her feet if she's got a good angle on something, usually in her crib. She has figured out that hitting or kicking something makes a noise, and loves to kick the mirrored closet doors. She also can now hold her own bottle when lying down, which has been amazing!

Firsts: Olivia was busy this month and had a lot of first: first vacation to Palm Springs, first time to Morton's (my favorite steak house!), first time drinking out of a sippy cup, first tooth on the horizon, met her Great Aunt for the first time, went to the RSM Lake, and wore her first pair of jeans!

First vacation!

First sippy cup

Meeting Great Auntie!

Walked around RSM Lake

First time wearing jeans

First time at Morton's- horrible picture!

Tooth is almost through!

Vacationing with bebe

If you've kept up with my blog, you know our lives have changed quite a lot over the past six months. New baby, new jobs, new home, you get the drift. I have been dreaming of a family vacation ever since Olivia was born. I have the BEST memories of vacationing with my family growing up. We were so blessed to be able to vacation to all sorts of places in all sorts of ways: camping in San Diego, Yosemite, Oregon, San Luis Obispo, skiing in Whister, BC, cruises to the Bahamas and Mexico, and close trips to places like Palm Springs. Trust me, I know it was a blessing.

Now that I'm my very own adult with my very own baby, I realize the financial hardships vacationing can present. Not only can it be expensive, but it's time consuming to plan, pack, and execute, especially with a baby on your hip. Dave and I spent the last 12 years (I can't BELIEVE we've been together that long) going wherever we wanted: Europe, Bahamas for our honeymoon, San Francisco, Arizona, Mexico, and Costa Rica. Again, a huge blessing. We love being jet setters and will bring Olivia up traveling as much as we can. We already have a list going of our first big trips.

Because we are in the midst of just a few transitions, we decided to utilize the time off between Dave's two jobs to take a close vacation. I have to admit, I really wanted to go to Hawaii (one of the places we've actually never been together), but after our moving costs, etc., we didn't want to spend the extra dough. Plus, Dave was terrified to take a 6 month old on a plane. So, we used my father-in-laws time share connection and headed to Palm Springs this past week.

First off, I just want to give mad props to Marriott's Desert Spring Villa's. They MADE this vacation. We've stayed here before when we were young and careless, but having a baby and staying here was so much better. If you've ever stayed in a timeshare, you know it's set up more like a condo than a hotel room. Before kids, I thought that was cheesy: I am on vacation, I don't want/need a full kitchen, I'm going to eat out in the lap of luxury! Now, the thought of eating out all the time makes my stomach hurt and sets my nerves on edge. Taking a baby out to a restaurant all the time is a pain in the rear. Not to mention, I need a fridge for leftover baby food, a plug for a bottle warmer, sink for washing, etc.

This Marriott property is newly renovated, so not only is it beautiful, it has everything you need. The "basics" include full kitchen accessories like plates, cups, wineglasses, silverware, bake ware, pots & pans, full knife set, DISHWASHER, tea kettle, tupperware, toaster, oven/range, microwave, full size fridge, even dish soap and trash bags. The family room has a flat screen TV and Blu Ray player. And the best part of all is a washer and dryer! Even I don't have one of those yet since we moved! You pretty much only need to bring yourself, clothes and go grocery shopping once you're here. Although, if you were us, you'd also bring the Wii and a bunch of dorky, sci-fi Blu Rays ;)

Because our Villa had all the amenities of home, it really made our vacation relaxing. If we needed to do a load of laundry because Olivia spit up over everything, we could just do it. If we wanted to BBQ out by the pool instead of dragging a baby to Flemings, we did it. If we just wanted to sit out on the back patio with a beer and watch the golf course, done. I don't think I ever want to vacation another way again. At least not till LW's older.

This property also had some amazing pools. Since we vacationed after Labor Day, we nearly had the resort to ourselves. We went to the pool 6 days in a row, and also had access to the main JW Marriott amenities which we hit up on the last day. We took Ollie swimming, which she LOVED, and enjoyed Miller Lite's in the heat of the day.

Main Pool at the JW

We BBQ'd our fair share:

We gave Ollie quite a good first vacation, in my opinion ;)

 I really took the time to enjoy this time away with our little family. I didn't feel rushed and was truly sad when it came to a close. Most of the time I'm ready to go home, but I could easily have stayed another week. My Ollie has been a dream baby this entire time (even in the heat!) and I couldn't have asked for a better first vacation.

Olivia Dell: 6 months

 

Height/Weight: Olivia weighed 15 pounds, 6 ounces at her 6 month appointment. I thought she may be a wee bit heavier than that, because I weighed her about 2 weeks before the appointment and she was already 15 pounds. But our Doctor told us that since she's becoming more active now, she is burning more calories. So, back to rice cereal we go, since it boasts more calories and girlfriend needs them. I didn't pay enough attention to her height, but I think the nurse said she was 27 3/4 inches (I had food poisoning that day and it was a miracle I even made it to the appointment).

Feeding: LW is now eating regular helpings of solid foods daily. I tried to mimic what I would want to eat and give her fruits in the morning and vegetables at night. She LOVES vegetables and it's usually more of a battle to get her to eat the fruits. maybe they are too sweet? I've heard this is a good problem to have. She is still eating 4 bottles, at 7.5 ounces each, and I've started giving her sips of water which she seems to like.

Clothing:  Olivia has nearly outgrown all 0-3 month clothing fits quite well into 6 month, and is even growing out of some 3-6 month Gerber onesies and PJ's. I'm excited for this hot weather to be over so she can wear some cute winter clothes, especially because she doesn't fancy hot weather at all.

Sleep: the past few weeks Olivia has started waiting til 4-6am to eat, and her fussing has subsided to about 2x per night. She has even weaned herself from swaddling, although we still put her in the sleep sack. She's starting to outgrow it in length, however, so we'll either have to get the next size up or start wearing proper pajamas. Her napping is a little inconsistent, but if we don't have a crazy schedule, she takes at least 1 GOOD nap a day. Since she's been more active, she is getting tired earlier in the evening and it going down between 7:30-8:15. Sounds good, until she wakes up at 6:30 with 11 hours of sleep!

Milestones: Olivia is now a solid sitter and only wobbles or falls backward when she gets too distracted. If we hold her hands when she is standing, she knows how to take steps like she's walking, but I'm not ready for that just yet! She is starting to put consonants and vowels together (dadadada) but not all the time. she also knows how to fake cry to get our attention, and likes to grab EVERYTHING off the table if it's within arms reach.

Firsts: Sitting on her own, Dad feeding her for the first time, celebrating both mom and dad's birthday, and sitting in a shopping cart like a big girl are all some firsts. She also fell off the couch, which I don't have a picture of, nor am I proud of. She went to beach for the first time and also got sunburned too :( (Rough month for mom!)

Getting her first feeding from Dad

Sitting by herself

Celebrating Mom's birthday for the first time!

First time in a shopping cart

first "real" time at the beach

First sunburn :(

just a week

I'm not one to usually brood about and feel sorry for myself.  I see the cyclical nature of things and know that they can't stay bad forever, and I'm generally a positive person and laid back in many ways. Maybe I've also been blessed with God just giving me a little nonsense scattered throughout my life instead of all at once.  but I have to say after this last week, both Dave and I agreed that we were feeling attacked by some spiritual force.

for the past six weeks we've been preparing to move in one way or another, be it trying to find a new place to rent, rushing to get cashier's checks delivered, trying to make hiring movers work in our budget, trying to find a washer and dryer, and of course, my all time favorite activity: packing. I thought that having so much time would ease the burden of moving, because I hate it so much. But I was wrong. It turns out that having so much time just dragged out the process to the point where I was living and breathing packing, scouring Craig's List for boxes, and trying to pick through our belongings in constant search of things I could get packed and out of the way.

before we could even move, messes started to rain down.  the Friday before, I was driving to Dave's going away party when a rock bounced off a gardening truck, hit my windshield, and proceeded to leave a crack over a foot long in my stupidly expensive windshield. two days later, on Sunday, Olivia started developing a major diaper rash (and her first one ever) that caused her to buck and arch away from me anytime I tried to change her diaper. oh, and throw in a good case of diarrhea for good measure. it turns out the new diapers I tried were not conducive to her poor little behind.

finally, last Tuesday arrived and with the help of a friend who referred some very affordable movers, we moved! of course it was a horribly hot day. that night, we walked to a restaurant across the street to eat dinner because of course we had nothing to eat in our new house.  while getting ready for Olivia's 6 month appointment and my work meeting on Wednesday morning, I started to feel awful. before the day was over, I had spent half the day in the bathroom or leaning over bushes to expel whatever demon was inside of me from the new restaurant, which I will never be visiting again. We made it to Olivia's appointment, where the doctor proceeded to tell us that her head circumference was in the 90th percentile and he wanted to send us for a head ultrasound to make sure she didn't have any excess fluid surrounding her brain. I don't remember much of the appointment after that.

on Thursday, I asked Dave to move his car out of the garage so the windshield repair man could get inside. his car wouldn't start. so we had to call Triple A and buy a new battery.  then, I made it to CHOC Hospital where we had LW's head ultrasound. The tech told us "everything looked good," and while it isn't an official diagnosis, at least some of the weight for the past week lifted from my burdened shoulders. and on Friday we scurried around packing so we could finally get a move on and get to our much needed vacation (as if we could relax!?).

now that we've been here a few days (separate post to come, I promise), we have finally be able to start resting. we have no plans except to go swimming, watch movies, and give Olivia a good time.  there were a lot of things that happened this past week that could have derailed us from this point, but God is faithful.  I feel it in my bones that He is incapable of leaving us or unloving us. He has brought us to this place and will carry us through. I have to say I'm elated this week is behind us. We've been waiting for a long time to be in a new place and see where our life takes us. now we can start.

p.s., Happy 100th Post to me!

6 Month Favorites

Seriously, half a year already? "they" weren't joking when they said that time flies. This month we got to try out a bunch of cool new stuff! Olivia is getting more and more fun with her curiosity and personality. Here are our 6 month favs:

Gerber/Nuk Graduates Soft Tipped Infant Spoons: now that we are well into solid foods, these are a must have. I've tried the Munchkin plastic spoons and don't like them. They are too deep and I feel like the edges are sharp. It's very difficult for Olivia to get all the food out of them. But with the Gerber spoons, she can easily get everything, and as a special treat, I give it to her when she's done eating to chew on!

Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Seahorse: Great Grandma gave this to LW and we LOVE it. when you squeeze it's belly, the light glows and it plays 5 minutes worth of classical music with some ocean-y waters mixed in. it's so adorable- Olivia loves to hold it and stare at the light. I can't tell you how many times I've gone in to her room to check on her and she's snuggling her sweet seahorse! I am convinced this is what helps her go to sleep on her own, since we usually put her in her crib when she's awake.

Avent Bottle Warmer: I don't know why it took me 5 months to get this, but I did.  This is a pretty basic warmer, and actually has more cons than I'd hoped, but it does the job. I like that it only takes about 5 minutes to take the chill off (we've never given LW warm bottles, and I'm not going to start now), but if you leave it too long it gets SCALDING. That being said, there is no timer, you have to manually shut it off with a switch in the back (easy to forget since you can't see it) and supposedly it hits a stopping point and maintains the temp. I haven't found this to be true, hence the scalding bottles. in spite of this, I still really like that I have this on hand.

Brica In-Sight Mirror: Since we are in the car a lot, this is a MUST HAVE. I like that I can keep an eye on LW, and now she's figured out how to angle herself to see me back in the reflection of the rear view mirror. No worrying now!

Munchkin Bath Letters & Numbers: I've had these since LW was born, but now that she can sit up in the tub, we've busted these out. we LOVE them. We mostly use them as chew toys because they are the right size and clean up easily. I like that they are small because I can even carry a few in my diaper bag for emergency toy duty!

Tupperware Tote-Em Pails: we received these as a gift and also just brought these out to play. Olivia particularly loves the 3 smallest pails and I've been known to put the largest, blue bucket on her head as a hat ;) I'm excited to take these to the beach one day soon!

I shudder to think what these posts will look like in the next 6 months. Please, little baby, stop growing!

teefers!

ever since I can remember, I've been terrified of losing my teeth. chipping a tooth, cracking a tooth, accidentally pulling it out, getting floss permanently stuck between two of them, you name it- if it was tooth related, I was losing sleep over it. I also read that if you have frequent dreams about losing teeth, then it meant you were hiding or lying about something. I did a thorough inventory and could find no lies to speak of- the tooth nightmares continued.

all that to say, I've  been pretty adamant about my tooth care. I had braces in elementary school, had my wisdom teeth pulled in high school, got new retainers a few years ago when my teeth started shifting, and never missed my twice yearly cleanings. but the year I was pregnant was a little tough on my teeth, in more ways than one.

First, we switched dentists and I committed the cardinal sin of not ensuring they were in our network before we went. they weren't, and that resulted in an $800 bill because the husband needed some work done. obviously, that left a bad taste in my mouth (no pun intended), and I didn't exactly want to rush back to that dentist. my next appointment should have been in January '13, but I was 9 months pregnant and without a dentist, and trust me, I wasn't going to find one now. So I lagged and gaggled and let it go by and finally got a new dentist this July- one year after my last appointment. It felt long to me, but after talking to an old coworker who hadn't gone in 6 years I still felt pretty good.

WRONG!

I don't know if I just found the most thorough dentist on the planet, if my dentist for the past 5 years was horrible, or if Little Wood stripped me of every ounce of tooth calcium she could muster, but in the last month, I've had to get FIVE (5) FILLINGS! One of them was so bad, the dentist was afraid I might need a root canal. Alas, no pain has warranted that.

I walked out of my initial appointment feeling so dirty! What the heck? 5 fillings? And he needs to watch 3 more "just in case?" What was my previous dentist doing? Sight seeing? Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. These are my one set of pearly whites and they are in shambles!

The one "pro" is that my dentist is pretty suave and I get to have my teeth nursed back to health in a massage chair while I watch TV. but STILL!

Little Wood, you were totally worth it, but couldn't you have left me in a little better shape?

the plans I have for you

the other day I was catching up on my blog reading and came across a new post by a creative, young mom that I started following when I was pregnant.  most likely, I found something of hers on Pinterest and then push came to shove and there I was, reading her blog and dreaming about how my life as a mother would come to fruition. Her daughter was born exactly one year ahead of Olivia and it was exciting to read about what she was going through, knowing that I would be next.

Over the last year, I've come to love/hate reading her blog, but never really could tell why. I had to be in the right mood, and was usually a couple weeks behind. None of her posts were sad, and most are filled with creative snack foods, decorating ideas, and whimsical baby milestones. Then, the other day it hit me. I was reading a post where she was apologizing for her brief break from her blog for the day, because her daughter had a behaviorally horrible day and that she didn't want to post about it because she likes to keep things "happy and positive."

Ohhhh- there it is.

I don't like reading your blog all that much because it makes me feel like a less than perfect mother and a bedraggled woman who sometimes forgets to brush her teeth, much less have time to cut her child's morning fruit into 5 point stars. I guess the sugar coated blog is just that, a cover for just a regular 'ole mom hiding in there somewhere.

I've learned a lot about myself these past 6 months, and I know that God has gifted me to be the mother that I am- fancy fruit shapes or not. Things that would have horrified me pre-baby, don't even cross my mind (vomit, poop, boogers- you get the idea). Getting up in the middle of the night is only painful when I have a horrible sunburn and can't really sit back in the rocking chair to calm my crying child.  Spending money on diapers is much more fulfilling than that necklace I've wanted from JCrew. Nuking my coffee 4 times before I can actually drink it is just the way mornings go, so long as I can get Olivia down for the nap she desperately needs, but fights me for every time.

in spite of it all, I sometimes loathe myself for still wanting to be that mom with the perfectly coiffed hair, who makes her own baby food, has time to throw parties and entertain guests with homemade appetizers, and has time for Gymboree. I wish I could buy baby clothes only from Baby Gap and post Outfits of the Day of me and my fashionable baby, but am lucky sometimes if we both just dressed. I'm the mom who's daughter rolled off the couch last week and got sunburned at the beach. my house is often a disaster, and I've been known to suck the germs off a pacifier that fell on the ground instead of sterilizing it. I've brought my baby to a bar, kept her out too late, and have instituted more of a bed time "span" rather then bed time. am I doing this wrong?

lately i find solace in God's beautiful and reassuring words in Jeremiah 29:11:

""for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.""

while there's nothing wrong with sharing only the beauty of the good life, you probably won't find that here. I still wonder what it is about those types of blogs that we like so much. my guess is it gives us a brief escape into a fantasy land, a desperate break from sticky fingers and wet diapers. I have to remember that an Instagram account doesn't tell the whole story. maybe one day the sugar coated mom can visit here, and know she's not alone. until then, I'm going to rest in the peace that God's going to take care of my future, and that I'm just along for the ride.